When someone leaves our world, it can be extremely difficult to move on and refrain from living in the past. In other words; when a close friend, a family member or a partner passes away, the prospect of living without them compels many people to spend time reminiscing about the past, rather than living for the future. Of course, the purpose of overcoming this kind of loss or learning to cope with grief is not simply to forget. After all, memories are precious and time spent with special people should always be remembered.
That being said, it must be recognized that moving on in life is not an indication of how much you do not miss somebody. And so we are left with this question: how does one overcome such loss and bring meaning to this time which was spent together?
Learning to accept what has happened
Something rather confusing can happen when you lose somebody close. You can feel disappointed, let down, or even angry. At the same time, these feelings should be expected, for when you invest emotionally in any relationship, there is a distinct sense of meaning but when this same person is no longer around, that time can seem unavailing.
Simply put, it is quite natural to experience the emotions above, but in the long run, they bring little clarity and even less progress regarding how to deal with them. For this reason, it is important to remember that we can choose how to feel in the aftermath of grief and this is very much a conscious decision.
While grief and hurt is something that can dissipate over time, the only way to truly overcome these feelings is through acceptance. Instead of feeling anger or resentment toward their absence, we should appreciate what happened and feel grateful for this shared experience.
Thus, one of the best ways to approach these hurtful feelings or thoughts is to live with this person in mind. That is to say; rather than spend so much time reminiscing about the past, it serves to remember that you can choose to channel this energy in another direction and use these beautiful memories to live with more passion and more meaning than ever before.
Here are just a few simple ideas to serve as a reminder that you should be looking forward at all times, and taking action to bring meaning to the time we have spent with a loved one:
Climbing a Mountain
In a metaphorical sense, climbing a mountain embodies everything a person must do to overcome or deal with loss. From the bottom, the summit is often out of sight, but once at the top, the views and feeling of achievement are unlike any other. In fact, the physical act of climbing a mountain is very much a mental process which can translate to a very spiritual experience. You may not have discussed this together but given the challenging nature of loss, maybe the time has come to bring positive meaning to thoughts and start climbing that mountain in your mind.
Visiting Somewhere Special
Most people are guilty of waiting too long and regretting the missed opportunities along the way. Travel is sometimes one of these regrets and most often, the fact that one has not traveled enough. While the temptation to stay at home and grieve endlessly can be strong, you must realize that taking time to go somewhere special is a great way to add to the legacy of that special someone.
The process of traveling somewhere special is also an encounter with new experiences, and it seems fitting to go to these places with that person in mind and to live in such a way that would make them proud of how you are today.
Standing Next to the Ocean
Then ocean is one of the most spiritual experiences imaginable. In many ways, the whole world is an ocean and we are the waves forever moving closer to the shore. Either way, this is a place which can comfort the soul and often, it is here that many families will choose to take the ashes of their loved ones. If you wish to walk in the sand or sit on a nearby hilltop, there is no one way to spend time at the ocean. However, what you are likely to understand in this moment is that the ocean has an overpowering presence and one which can stop even the most overactive mind from living in the past.
As already mentioned, there are always negative feelings following the loss of someone close and this will never change. However, these feelings will always subside, and it is at this moment when a person can accept what has happened and choose to thrive in the present instead of living in the past. In many ways this also seems fitting as quite often, you will be going to these places in the spirit of that person and most importantly, you will be living a life that brings true meaning to the memory of someone special.