When you lose someone close, especially for the first time, it can feel like the end. At this time, no amount of inspirational quotes can ease the associating pains, never mind make them disappear. You can feel victimized, helpless and cold while even the thought of your own existence can feel rather unimportant with this person not around anymore. As many people claim, you lose a part of yourself when somebody close leaves this world, but still, these feelings will eventually subside, to the point at which you can decide how to move forward.
There is no singular way to deal with loss
However, in order to move forward, it must be realized and accepted that there is no singular way to deal with the loss of a loved one. That is to say, everyone goes through the very same hurtful feelings, but then everyone will also deal with this loss in a different way. In this respect, there are said to be five stages of loss; denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance, but there is no direct process within these stages. After all, every circumstance and person is unique.
Five stages of grief/loss
Here is a brief outline regarding the five stages of grief:1. Denial
While denial can seem like the worst part of the aftermath, this process is often the foundation for mental strength and experience, later on. That being said, denial is what enables most people to navigate through the grief of losing someone and allows them to make it through a period in which life can seem meaningless and empty.2. Anger
Having suppressed so many feelings and thoughts during the initial denial, the next stage can feel particularly powerful. Unfortunately, the loss of a loved one can prompt a person to take this fact of life as being personal and in many cases, push them to act irrationally. For example, people can feel angry toward close friends during this part of the process, if they suspect that the friend in question has not shown enough compassion or support.3. Bargaining
Arguably one of the most traumatizing aspects of loving a loved one is the thought of “What could I have done differently?” In this regard, it can be easy to look back at times when you may have acted with unfairness toward this loved one and in essence, look inward regarding reasons for your suffering.4. Depression
Although entirely unavoidable, depression can last any amount of time. During this period, life can seem meaningless and empty once again. However, the grief experience in this stage is essential for the process of healing. And it will pass.5. Acceptance
It must be understood that acceptance is not the process of forgetting a loved one but rather accepting that they are no longer around. In some instances, this can be the most potent period in which a person resolves to live with vigor and bring meaning to the memory of this loved one. Either way, the acceptance stage is all about letting go and looking forward, in the most respectful way possible.
As mentioned, there is no typical response to any particular loss, for the circumstances surrounding death are varied, and more importantly, the person dealing with this loss is always unique. While some many succumb to negativity at first or feel victimized, others can feel relieved, confused, or even at a total loss of feelings. In some instances, the only approach is to struggle toward acceptance and allow time to process what this loss will mean for the future.
You can choose how to react to the loss of a loved one
At the same time, the key point here is that dealing with the loss of a loved one is a matter of choice. Yes, it has happened and cannot be reversed. Yes, the situation can feel devastating and often, makes absolutely no sense. But when it comes to how you react during the aftermath, it is important to remember that at this moment, you can choose the impact this loss will have on the rest of your life.
You see, in the same way, that successful business people know how to deal with failure, people with a long line of life experience will know better in terms of how to deal with the loss of a loved one. As with failure, loss is a fact of life, and something we know will happen sooner or later. However, while a business man/woman can choose to learn from their failures, a person dealing with the loss of a loved one can also use this moment to look forward with clarity and even more purpose than ever before.
For all-purpose intended, this is not to say that business and the loss of a loved one are similar but merely to demonstrate how every situation can be seen in an alternative light.
Choosing to feel grateful for a loved one
Also, these words may fall short for someone reading this article, especially in the midst of such angst and pain, but realizing that how you choose to look forward sooner rather than later, makes a whole lot of sense. For example, instead of feeling victimized or wallowing in self-pity, you can choose to focus on the positive, resolve to feel grateful for what you had with this person and what you can take from them to move onward into the future. Furthermore, this is likely how a loved one would prefer you felt at the time following such loss.
In many ways, this is why we at Adera Dreams realize the importance of our keepsake urns, how these beautifully engraved ornaments can keep the memory of a loved one close, and their spirit even closer.